Friday, September 16, 2005

his first name is angus...

I hate to consider myself out of the loop. In fact, I spent a great deal of time working hard to stay in it, if not create one myself. Occasionally, however, I find myself out of the loop. This happened last night.
MacGuyver is a television show I’d never seen, and frequent references to the character often flew over my head. I’ve been able to deduce that this MacGuyver is able to repair machinery with found items or make bombs out of a toothbrush or old shoe, but that’s about it. Last night, over a delightful dinner at Max’s, Richard made a MacGuyver reference and Zoe and I started at him in bewilderment, both having no idea what he was talking about and shocked he’s assumed we’d actually seen this show. He bowed his head in shame and changed the subject.
Well, guess what’s on TV at the break of dawn? MacGuyver! While simultaneously getting dressed, eating breakfast and talking on the phone, I watched half an episode. And I’ve got some questions: Who does MacGuyver work for and under what authority is he able to thwart international criminals? Also, is he ever allowed to change clothes? Why does insist upon banging on walls in fruitless attempts at relieving his frustration? And how does he have time for a colorist?
Today’s episode seemed to revolve around a Native American gentleman named “Whitecloud” who hid a bomb within some factory at the very moment a class of schoolchildren were on a fieldtrip there. As Whitecloud held the anti-environmentalist factory owners hostage with a highly stereotypical bow and arrow, MacGuyver attempted to intervene by screaming, “Just defuse the bomb, will ya!”
“No!” Whitecloud screamed back.
MacGuyver was somehow shocked, and reacted with a very heavy handed, “WHAT????”
Like Whitecloud was actually going to be like, “Oh, alright. Jeez. If it means that much to you.”
At the same time, the cowering factory owner kept yelling, “Whitecloud, be reasonable! We can talk, Whitecloud. Let’s work this out!”
“Shut up!”
During this heated exchange, MacGuyver slips atop some kind of water heater, located the bomb and of course, defuses it at the very, very last second with, what else? Whitecloud’s feather.
Whitecloud, still with his bow and arrow aimed at the mustached factory owner, rediscovers his pacifism and lets him live. The schoolchildren breathe a collective sigh of relief, MacGuyver pats Whitecloud on the back and credits roll.
Thus ended my inaugural episode of MacGuyver. Color me converted…

genius

2 comments:

big chris said...

I just read the blurb and was confused who hell you were talking
about and then I realized from your description it was
MACGYVER. spell that shit right woman ! also you get
a cookie for knowing his first name is angus, revealed only
once in a dream.

Sunset Boy said...

I agree with Chris on the spelling of the name...it is crucial!!
However, I don't even know if you should get the Angus points as you clearly knew it from the website link, not from seeing it on the show as you have only seen one episode and it was only revealed in a single episode...you do get points from me for putting the theme song into my head for the rest of the night...it is a CLASSIC!!
BEN
(UPN almost had a "Young MacGyver" show this past season)