I’m sure we’re all aware of Pat Robertson’s recent remarks, alerting us to the fact that Hurricane Katrina was punishment for Ellen DeGeneres being a lesbian. We can get all upset and riled up about this, or we can enjoy it. I mean, I find crazy people entertaining. Responding to Pat Robertson is kind of like getting upset about the guy that stands in front of the Gap on Market Street with his big virginity signs. He’ll call me a filthy whore for 5 minutes and then, when I cross the street he’ll begin screaming at a particularly slutty pigeon with the same fervor and commitment he’d focused on me.
Crazy assholes are everywhere. You don’t need to turn on the Christian Broadcasting Network to find them either. For example, you can do what I did last night and enjoy some late night libations at Marin Joe’s where you’ll find yourself talking to some short, middle-aged douchebag who claims to be a big Hollywood producer. When asked to remove his hand from my leg, he responded with the charming, “Oh, shut up you stupid bitch. You can talk after I’ve fucked you.”
You can’t get mad. He’s crazy.
What’s worse? I googled him. Big Hollywood producer is legit. He’s so legit, in fact, he’s an actual Oscar winner - for Best Fucking Picture. And this guy makes Pat Robertson look like a nun in an AIDS ward.
The insane pop up everywhere. Taking them seriously makes you insane too. However, if you’re feeling tremendously and uncontrollably violent towards Pat Robertson, I’ve got an ass you can kick.
Tomorrow at noon, a middle aged Hollywood producer will be sitting at a bar waiting to “discuss my career.” Yeah right.
Feel free to show up and beat the shit out of him…