I’ve spent this week taking a web class, learning how to read and write code. It’s actually been really interesting and if anyone needs a website revamped, I’m your gal. I find myself taking professional classes quite often, thrown into classrooms with other grown ups who seem to delight in a temporary return to high school. As I found high school akin to Iraqi prison, I dread these classes and thus plan ahead, hoping to make my time in class as bearable as possible.
Task Number One: find a friend.
I am no loner. Just like everyone else, I need occasional solitude. But finding myself in a new place with new people means I’ve got to find a sidekick ASAP. On my first day of college, in Philadelphia where I knew not a soul, I found myself standing on campus totally alone, due to be at some horrible Casino themed orientation event in an hour. I mustered my courage, fixed my humidity ravaged hair and walked up to a girl sitting alone on a bench.
“Hi. I’m Beth and I’m from California. I don’t know anyone here and it looks like you don’t either. We’ll both look a lot cooler if we hang out together and I promise to be funny.”
She turned out to be Michelle, the most boring human alive. Or maybe I just didn’t live up to my promise. I none the less had a cohort for Casino Hell and met dear Jesse within a day or two. And Michelle went on with her boring life to find equally uninteresting friends, no doubt. My point being, I like to find friends fast, and would much rather have someone to whisper snide comments to than not.
Thus, Tuesday morning, I sat sipping Starbucks in a downtown highrise, scanning the room for an acceptable chum. I was horrified to find no one scanning back, the easiest way to spot a like-minded pal. We had to introduce ourselves and begin simple web pages, starting off by posting a paragraph describing our personalities. Finding this an opportunity to discover who was cool, hip or possessed anything close to a sense of humor, I posted, “I’m a sucker for cornrows and manicured toes, Fendi capri pants and Parasucos.“
No one got it.
After a lecture on fonts, I walked a block to Specialties, the greatest Bakery and Sandwich store in the land, ordered a big salad and Snapple and sat alone with my only friend, the appropriately named, Harper’s Bazaar.
Suddenly, “Mind if I sit with you?”
I looked up to find Christy, a quiet classmate who seemed nice enough. I was delighted. Turned out, Christy and I both loathed the same dreadful wench with the stupid questions, both possessed similar career paths and both had an unnecessary preoccupation with South African men, Christy marrying one a month ago. We bonded over cookies the size of hatchbacks and have spent the entire week inseparable in class, moving our computers next to each other, rolling our eyes when the wench asked yet another stupid question and actually reverting to passing notes back and forth. With piles of empty Diet Coke cans and Hershey’s wrappers, we designed hideous websites and secretly surfed the net, disappearing every day at noon for Specialties.
Christy and I said goodbye this afternoon, exchanging business cards and hugs, promising to grab drinks or dinner sometime in the near future. This will never happen, of course, and Christy will soon be filed into the vague memory category while I return to my gay bars and boring office and she returns to her hot husband with the hot accent. But I’m delighted to have found my temporary friend. And as I’ve just signed up for an “Intermediate Dreamweaver 8” course, I can only wonder who I’ll find to befriend in the future…