Monday, August 22, 2005

likely, the day's most under-reported act of terrorism...

Still in a great deal of pain, I watched the first two Godfather’s last night and fell asleep. I was awoken at 4:36am by a thunderous crash. In such a deep sleep, I became confused and disoriented, somehow thinking that Zoe or Richard had fallen in the bathroom. Figuring that they were each other’s problem, I rolled over and went back to sleep.
At 7:15am, my alarm went off, I slid out of bed and into the bathroom. There appeared to be no sign of collapse, struggle or mishap and I brushed my teeth wondering if I would find bandaged and bloody friends at the kitchen table. I then emerged from the bathroom and went to grab a white dress shirt from my closet.
It seems that last night, at 4:36am, my extensive and needless wardrobe finally overtook the wooden rod holding it all up and collapsed. Literally hundreds of ensembles are now in a huge, filthy, unfixable pile WAIST HIGH overflowing from within my closet. In a sad twist, this isn’t the first time this has happened, and I’m all too familiar with the task of putting this house of cards back together. What I find most distressing is the fact that my pointy toed green slingbacks did not survive the tragic disaster and shall be buried in the backyard during tonight’s memorial service…

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's funny, although too bad. Those were cute shoes.


I gotta say, love the secret blog today! Haha. I found it!!!!
I'm going to copy it and send it to like, 5 assholes, pretending it's from me. I wish I wrote it, it's so perfect.

Anonymous said...

Nice looking blog - did you customize the template? Thanks from Jordan
Shoes
girl

GunRunner said...

Hundreds of ensembles? That's not a wardrobe...that's a shopping addiction. Toss out everything but the 2 pasirs of jeans you wear most often, 4 t shirts, a jacket, and your favorite sneeks. Then start over, as shopping is your real passion,

doug

Bonita said...

damn it, I want to know where the secret blog is......please anonymous person tell me!!
bonita1@gmail.com

Spots said...

Jesus H., Bon. I will e-mail you that entry as soon as I get to work for two reasons:
1. I already unposted it because I started thinking about it too much and freaking out, which happens a lot with my big top secret uber personal blog and...
2. You've got to find it on your own. I've given you tons of hints, I've actually linked to it AND at one point, stated directly where it was. Plus, it's not even that good...