Thursday, August 18, 2005

i'm just going to ignore that stupid restraining order...

Signs are everywhere. Consummation is imminent. I’ve already contacted Colin Cowie, wedding planner to the stars. This morning, I turned on the TV and who was staring back at me? Gavin, of course.
I’m so riled up, I don’t even know if I can type this coherently, but he was wearing designer athletic apparel while being interviewed at Fort Point. (that’s the place directly under the Golden Gate where they shoot Luther Vandross videos.) Apparently, he had been jogging and was stopped for in interview with Mornings on 2.
Amazingly, he discussed, among other things, the horror of waiting in unending lines to pay for parking tickets at DPT, which is something I write about all the time. I wonder if he reads the blog? (Who am I kidding? Of course he does.)
The interview was brief and I spent it not listening, but admiring his ensemble. Nothing melts my butter like a well dressed man in a suit that costs more than my car, but we get to see Gavin model his Zegna all the time. Occasionally, we’ll see him sport an unbuttoned dress shirt, having a casual Saturday morning meeting with Baptist church leaders or high school poetry contest winners, but to capture Gavin first thing in the morning, jogging in what I believe to be a Prada fleece and Adidas running pants in a rare sighting indeed.
We know the intimate sartorial details because the camera actually panned out to capture his entire outfit, even the news team excited to see Gavin modeling such a sporty look.
He tossed his head back and chuckled (no, his hair did not move) and jogged off. To my immense horror, some skank in a cheap ass bright red track suit joined him. I stood before my television stunned into silence, amazed Gavin would allow a goddamn groupie to chase him around San Francisco. Perhaps, he’s aware that I won’t run for my life, much less for exercise, and had to scrounge around to find a flat-chested lesbian to accompany him for protection or a discussion on gay marriage.
Either way, we’ll be making eyes at each other across the lunch table tomorrow and god-willing, I’ll be writing my next blog having been impregnated with Gavin Jr…

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is pretty much the funniest thing I've ever read.
-jj

big chris said...

hi beth,
I'm supposed be in meetings but I'm taking time to read your blurb.
I know I've said this to you a thousand times but you're out of
your fucking mind ! you've now crossed the line from gavin
admirer to a full blown stalker and after tomorrow's luncheon
he's going to have a restraining order against your ass.
also at the lunch thing tomorrow wear something low cut
that shows off your jugs.
that is all.
chris

Spots said...

I'm horrified that you used the word "jugs" but delighted that you used the word "luncheon."

Anonymous said...

You really should invite Gavin Newsom to your big par-tay!

Spots said...

Well, it's Alex's Going Away Party. Wouldn't he mind if Gavin stole his thunder? Hmmm, probably not.
For those free on Saturday night, let me know and I'll send the Evite...

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