Wednesday, June 22, 2005

upstairs...

We’re all smart people. We know that when you live in close proximity to someone, occasionally you’ll get each other’s mail. Especially when one’s address is 916 and the other is 916A. Smart people simple shuffle through their mail, and drop the occasional rogue letter in the other’s mailbox, a mere 2” away (I measured) and go on with their hopefully full lives. Common sense dictates that this small inconvenience is simply a part of sharing a building and while mildly annoying at best, it’s not a big deal.
So you can imagine my frustration, when upon retrieving my mail today I found an envelope addressed to me at 916 and not 916A. The 916 was circled IN RED and an arrow pointing away from it read, “We are still getting your mail.”
These are the people, who when they moved in, alerted us to the fact that we needed to keep it down at night because “Julian is a stockbroker. Julian keeps East Coast hours.”
Oh really?
Well, Julian is a pretentious British snob with an affected accent and we now keep Hawaiian hours. What do you think of that? Or how about, Julian does his laundry at 6am, rattling the windows and shaking the walls. Why not, Julian and Sabrina have gross and loud sex when they’re not having gross and loud arguments, involving throwing things and stomping on the floor to make some sort of intellectual fancy pants point. Perhaps, Julian waters the garden he never uses whilst (that one’s for you, Julian) wearing an appalling bright tank top and elastic waist shorts.

And here I am, owner of 916A, writing a letter to renters of 916, which reads:

Hello upstairs! I received your note written ON my mail alerting me to the fact that a few businesses have my address as 916 and not 916A. I’ve alerted both the businesses and the post office to this fact and apologize for any inconvenience. Having lived here for the past four years, I’ve found that I occasionally get your mail and you occasionally get mine. I’ve discovered that the easiest course of action is to simply drop your mail in your mailbox and so appreciate your doing the same for me. I get that’s its a tad tiresome and a bit annoying, but I’m afraid that’s simply part of splitting a building. Should you ever need a package signed for, a cup of sugar or a roll of toilet paper, I’d be delighted to be neighborly. I’d appreciate the same in return. Thanks! Beth…

6 comments:

t.p. said...

Damn. You're good.

Bonita said...

I thought for sure they'd quit hating you (us) once I moved out but I guess not. They suck. Next time I come to town we'll go out drinking and then come home and have a pillow fight at 3 in the morning.....

Sunset Boy said...

Excellent. Kill em with kindness.

You rock. Hope to see you around the 4th.

BEN

Spots said...

I knew that would piss you off, Bon! Can you believe that? Yes. You can.

Also, my blog is being ghetto and won't publish things. I'm assuming this will be fixed one day. I direct anyone who wants to read my secret blog, located in my space. Love, Beth...

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