Ben is not in the office today, and its estrogen central around here. We had to get several fire extinguishers refilled today, so my boss, Kathy, phoned this guy called “The Fire King.” Margot, Kristin and I don’t particularly care and while we were alerted he would be arriving, we’ve got more important things to worry about, like my new haircut I got this morning.
The Fire King just showed up. And he’s hot. Really, really hot. He’s covered in crap and paint and all sorts of man-things, but The Fire King is pretty gorgeous. Plus, his official title is The Fire King. Beat that.
He grabbed our fire extinguishers and headed out to his huge van, clearly marked, “The Fire King!” It’s even got flames on it. Margot, Kristin and I went nuts, running around, throwing on lip gloss and debating if he used his truck to pick up dates.
“Margot, what’s he doing out there?”
“Pumping our fire extinguishers full of fire fighting shit. What do you think? Jeez. Go ask him a question.”
Kristin, who’s young and fearless, walked out to his truck. “Do you need help carrying those back in?”
We nervously watched her from the window, laughing hysterically as she twirled her hair and batted her eyelashes. He apparently did not need help. We’re now coming up with all sorts of cheesy pick ups, along the lines of “Put out my fire, Fire King!” or “How may I service you, your majesty?”
The Fire King just walked back inside.
Margot piped up immediately. “Oh, Beth can help you. She’s in charge now.”
He looked over at me. “You must be Beth, then.”
Oh my god. I hate my life. “Yes. I am Beth.”
We then shared some very intense eye contact while he updated his palm pilot, which it when I noticed it.
Really, really badly. Let’s not even get into the fact that he was wearing a (cheap looking) wedding ring. He reeked.
“Maybe it’s because he lifts things all day?” wondered Margot, dumbfounded by the intense odor that still lingers.
“Or maybe it’s that weird shit he put in our fire extinguishers” offered Kristin, holding her nose.
Maybe it’s because really gorgeous eyes and a really cool job title don’t make up for the wondrous benefits of a nice hot shower and a bar of soap…