I don’t know why, but my disgusting Lean Cuisine isn’t sitting so well with me today. It’s making me feel funky and mischievous. So I went over to Margot’s corner of the office and lay down on her floor.
“Oh my God, Bethy. That’s so disgusting. You don’t know what’s been on the floor. Ben probably does things there.”
“Whatever, Margot. You just vacuumed.”
I continued to lie on the floor and Margot went back to work. I couldn’t move. I was feeling sick, yet punchy.
“What if your water breaks right now? I’d be covered in your amniotic fluid and have to kill myself, I’d be so grossed out.”
“Ewww, that would suck.” Margot screamed. “Don’t say that. You’re freaking me out!”
Margot’s phone rings, and while she’s on the phone, I decide to annoy her placing crumpled Post-its in her socks. I couldn't help myself. She wears these weird little socks.
“May I please put you on hold?...Bethy! Stop making me laugh! Jeez, you're such a freak show!...I'm sorry. Thank you for holding.”
As if rewarding a dog for performing a simple trick, Margot’s hand shoots down to me with a pretzel. Perhaps in preparation for her impending motherhood, Margot seems to think rewarding me with small snacks or rubber toys will get me to behave. I will admit it worked. I ate the pretzel, got up from her floor, went back to my desk and sent her a dirty e-mail…