I had noticed some yellow crap on my jeans. I'll admit, I thought it was curry. I decided to ignore it. After all, I was just running over to Trader Joe's. I approaced my car, and for an instant, thought it might have been vandalized. The hood of the car looked like someone had rolled all over it and... wait a minute. That was me. Upon closer inspection, it wasn't curry on my jeans, folks. It was bird shit.
This is what I get for drunkenly dry humping the hood of my car for the entertainment of gays. Fucking bird shit on my Long and Lean's. Damn it!