mazel tov, darlin'...

My friend Ben returned home for Thanksgiving to find a new addition at his mother's front door. Ben's mom, Sharon, is very Texan, and her fiance, Morrie, is very Jewish. Thus, there's currently a tile right at their front door, and it says "Shalom Y'all!"
That is fabulous. I wonder if they could get a doorbell to chime that, somehow?

I went out drinking with Ben twice this weekend, and both times, he brought his friend Jeremy. Jeremy is the exact cross between Jesus and Jason Lee. He's awesome, carries around an obscene amount of weed in a Baco's jar, and giggles a lot in the corner. The great thing about Jeremy is that he'll be quiet for like an hour, and then suddenly he'll speak, and it'll be the most brilliant or hilarious observation I've ever heard in my life. He's the highest functioning stoner on earth, and he will be my sidekick when I have my own talkshow.

At about 1 am last night, I dragged my posse of boys into Capp's for cheap drinks and available seating. My good friend Doug, one of the actors in Beach Blanket, was in there drinking away in a booth. Barely out of his Elvis make-up, he kisses me hello and leans in to whisper...
"Oh my god, Beth! I can't believe you just walked in here with all kinds of hot boys. Who are they?"
"Have at 'em, Doug. They're slutty and drunk."
I went off to grab another $3 glass of Claret, and as I sat at the bar chatting with some friends, I look over to find both John and Ben with their hands down Doug's shirt, caressing his chest and admiring his velvety soft skin, which feels surprisingly like "rosepetals."
Leave it to me to go out with 5 straight boys and turn them all gay by closing time...