I’m loving my job. I really am. But like any task that requires one sit at a computer for most of the day, I find I must e-mail my friends throughout the day for entertainment value. Today, I think I reached a low point, as Chris and I found our e-mail conversation take a turn for the bizarre. That’s right. We made a list of our Top 5 Favorite Midgets. Here is the (relatively) unedited version of our actual conversation.
Subject: Beth’s dad has a coin purse
I live for dessert. The whole point of entrees are to get to dessert. I loathe Lindsey Lohan. I despise her. I want her dead. Last night, I watched the Amazing Race with Andy, but it's no fun since the midget got kicked off. I love midgets. If Lindsey Lohan was a midget, I'd love her.
Subject: The Midget Top 5
I've heard the best part of going out to dinner is drinks, appetizers, and desert. The entree is what comes in-between. What the fuck is wrong with you ? How do you hate Lindsey Lohan. So what if she can't act and is now trying sing, she looks good. I am also a huge fan of midgets. Excuse me, little people. Let me list my top 5 midgets of all time:
4. marcus the midget from bad santa
3. gary coleman
1. ( tie ) yoda & herve villechaize
Subject: My midget Top 5
5. Kramer's black midget friend from Seinfeld (Also portrayed Marcus in Bad Santa, but I prefer him in this less exploitative role)
4. Charla from the Amazing Race
3. any porn midget
2. Danny DeVito
1. WEBSTER, obviously
Subject: Midgets who didn’t make the list:
1. tina ( the hot little blonde w/ huge cans I used to date )
3. bushwick bill
4. any of the umpa lumpas
5. bridget the midget ( porn star )
6. frodo baggins
Yeah. This is pretty much what I did all day. Oh, well I also stole about a case of Nutella, as they donated 3000lbs of it to the film festival. It was Nutella madness. Thank god Bonnie loves Nutella, as I've never been a huge fan. However, it was free. Thus, I took as much as my arms could carry.