I have become obsessed with Dr. Jang of the Jang and Associates commercials. If you live in San Francisco, you must have seen them. He's this Asian dentist, with an apparent huge staff that speaks a multitude of languages, and a sea of thrilled patients, all of whom are delighted to appear on teleision, proclaiming the genius of Dr. Jang. Dr. Jang is such a rockstar, he has an extensive series of commercials, constantly changing and providing me with never-ending entertainment.
The best thing about Dr. Jang, other than his fabulous butchering of the English language, is the huge forced smile he manages after every sentance. Watch him. Everytime he finishes his little schtick, he looks right at you and chomps those pearly whites right at the camera.
For a while, he forced his poor, assimilated, dentist daughter, Kathryn, to appear alondside him, her embarassment palpable through the television. Now, my favorite moment of his commercials, other than his smile, is when he lists in rapid succession the languages his staff speaks, in those very languages. There's nothing like hearing an Chinese dentist enthusiastically scream into the camera, "Je parlez Francais!" then bare his teeth at you. Priceless.
I wonder waht it would be like to be personal friends with Dr. Jang. In addition to getting to see that smile up close, you'd also get to call him by his glorious first name, Calvert. Imagine Dr. Jang showing up at one of my parties. People would go nuts. "Yo Calvert. Do a Jell-O shot!" or better, "Holy Shit. Calvert's hooking up with Bonnie!"
He's a real life local celebrity, and I'm going to track him down. In fact, I say this to you today. Dr. Calvert Jang will indeed be at my next party.
And I call dibs on him...