So, this morning, in preparation for our party in 5 hours, Bonnie and I walked down to Atlas, the trendy, Mission-hipster café a block away and got breakfast. We got our coffee and bagels, sat at a table and people watched for a while before heading home. Sipping our drinks and walking the block back, we spotted 2 relatively attractive and age appropriate gentlemen strolling towards us. Bonnie leans over and whispers, “One for you and one for me.”
Just as they begin to pass us, Bonnie has an unprovoked choking attack on her own saliva, and has to practically brace herself on an apartment wall while she coughs up the hairball or tapeworm or equally frightening mass within her lungs.
Our future husbands pick up their pace and get the fuck away from us, and I can’t say I blame them. I look over at my red-faced roommate, and lovingly say, “Jesus Bonnie. You’re such a cock block.”