Today, one of my tasks includes informing the upstairs neighbors that we're having a party. Now, this is tricky and a little delicate, as these neighbors have called the cops on us. For those of you that witnessed and survived the Beth and Bonnie red carpet themed, joint-birthday extravaganza, perhaps you remember 5 uniformed officers rolling in at 2am proclaiming it to be the "classiest party we've seen all night!" God Bless the SFPD. While our upcoming Anniversary Party starts much earlier in the day, I think it's safe to say it'll be pretty packed and continue well into the night. In addition, it's appears we'll have live music. Live loud music. Now, I say, fuck it. We're Beth and Bonnie. This is the party to celebrate all the other parties. This is what we do. I mean, we still have empty kegs rolling around the backyard. The whole point of picking this flat was it's party-worthiness. And the whole point of our Anniversary Party is to celebrate our party history. Wait till you get a load of my ambiance on this one. It's going to kick ass.
Anyway, I've created the following rough draft. While not entirely honest, I think it encompasses what we have in mind and encourages them to join us. I mean, if we can get them to do keg stands and jell-o shots, how can they call the fuzz?
We're delighted to inform you that we've survived one year of living together here at 916A. In the traditional celebratory gesture, we plan to invite over our close group of friends and family for an afternoon BBQ. In addition, we'll have local musicians and dear friends of ours performing for the gang. We would be honored if you'd join us, and bring along anyone you wish. As is our philosophy, the more the merrier.
We have found living at 916A an absolute delight (minus the mugging) and hope that you'll swing on down and join us in a toast to this great home of ours.
Take care, and we hope to see you soon.
Oh god. I know this is going to end with jail time. Screw it. I was born to host, y'all.