...when Bon and I posted our craigslist ad on Valentine's Day. We were cracking ourselves up last night recalling our adventures, and we are desperate to find that ad. I can't believe we didn't save it. For those of you who don't know the legendary Valentine's Day story of 2004, let me enlighten you.
This past Valentine's Day, Bon and I found ourselves home with no dates and nothing to do. This struck us as ridiculous. Seriously. It was a crime. We woke up and wandered around the flat, moaning and bitching about this stupid holiday that no one really likes anyway. Finally, we decided, "Fuck it." Bonnie went into the kitchen to stir up some alcoholic brew at 11am, and I went in my room to create my costume. When I emerged, Bonnie caught on fast and went into her room to change as well. By noon, we were both drunk, wearing pink lingerie, little black cardigans, high heels, with flowers in our hair and crazy make-up. It is at this point, that we decided it'd be a good idea to explain our situation to the world and post an ad on Craigslist.
The ad went a little something like this:
We're so bored this Valentine's Day that we're....already drunk! We're 2 twenty-something vixens who are baffled by the fact that we don't have dates. Thus, we've dressed up in ridiculous lingerie inspired outfits, inebriated ourselves, and are looking for love in all the wrong places. We look like an episode of Oprah gone awry. The men in the white coats are not far off. Rescue us. B+B
We received 132 responses.
With 2 computers set up on the sun porch, we set to the task of narrowing our options. Bon created various folders in our joint e-mail account, entitled: Mr. Right, Possibly, Not So Much, Naked Boys, and Never. Needless to say, when you announce that you and your girlfriend are drunk, wearing pink lacey slips, and lookin’ for action, you get a myriad of replies, mostly of the dirty variety. With a mixture of vodka, lemonade, and crushed fresh strawberries (to make it pink, of course), we came to a list of about 5 possibilities, including one guy who just wanted to come over and watch us get ready to go out. He was hot, but creepy. He got moved into the Not So Much category. I spent a bit of time e-mailing back and forth with 2 Australian guys in town to sell copy machine products. They seemed cute, friendly, and funny. We agreed. Australians it would be.
Once we decided we were actually going to meet these 2 guys, we got all hysterical and excited. “Oh my god. Are we really doing this?” “Fuck yes, we’re really doing this. Go put on slutty clothes.”
We decided to meet them in North Beach, and nervously got in a cab. We were kind of early, so we sat at the bar and drank. Suddenly, in walks this guy that is obviously one of the Australians. He is Kym, and his friend Ben is parking. Ben finally arrives, we all find a table, and start to talk.
They’re adorable! They’re nice and funny and not at all gross. They’re incredibly chivalrous, touchy feely, and super cute. Plus, those accents. We hit a few bars before they propose dinner. Um, dinner? Okay. We go to some romantic Italian place and have a marvelous time, with Bonnie and I kicking each other under the table through most of the meal. At around midnight, we head over to Capp’s, and grab some more drinks. By closing time, we’re delightedly drunk and ready to head home. We thank them for a lovely time, kiss them goodbye, hop in a cab, and erupt into hysterics. We could not have had a better time with anyone else. Kym and Ben rock. The next day, the called just to make sure we got home okay.
Yeah, guys. We’re really fucking okay. Viva Australia!